The power of your inner story
What are the inner stories that you tell yourself when you are faced with a difficult decision?
“It's like everyone tells a story about themselves inside their own head. Always.”
Patrick Rothfuss
Do you ever hear voices in your head?
Bear with me for a moment before you jump to an immediate reply.
I am not speaking about a cacophony of voices at every moment of the day.
I am speaking about another voice; sometimes loud and influential, sometimes quiet and insistent. Sometimes it is solo, sometimes it has company.
It is the voice that can be heard when we’re met with a tough decision, a problem to solve or when we’re depleted and tired. It is the voice that influences the plots of our inner stories.
At The Story Lab, we describe our ‘inner stories’ as the automatic thoughts that arise without our conscious awareness. They are our self-stories, our brain stories, our inner narratives.
For some people, the plots of these stories are optimistic, hopeful and supportive. For others, they are critical, judgemental and demoralising. For most, they straddle the spectrum of helpful and unhelpful, depending on other influencing factors.
When the plots of our inner stories are demoralising, the voices may tell us that we are not good enough, not talented enough or not ‘right’ for a new role. They may tell us we are imposters or that we will never reach our goals. For some people, the stories are so harsh and hardwired that even setting those goals may become an issue.
Power to change
Thanks to neuroscience, we now know that the thoughts and beliefs behind these voices are not something we were ‘born with’ and with which we have to ‘live with’ forever. They can, in fact, be changed, which means so too can our inner stories.
What we now know is that we have the power to change the inner stories that are no longer serving us.
With support, we can challenge the beliefs that are holding us back; we can reframe our thinking; and we can actively choose the narratives that will support us in whatever personal or professional challenge we might be facing.
Challenging inner stories
There is no doubt about it, identifying and challenging our inner stories takes effort. They may have been formed in response to past experiences and they have often been influenced by the personal, professional and societal paradigms in which we have been living for years.
On a daily basis, we might not think our inner stories wield power over our lives, but it’s on the back of these stories that we build our belief system, a system that impacts our actions, behaviours and decisions.
Take imposter syndrome as an example. Someone with imposter syndrome sees themselves as a fraud despite all they’ve achieved. They might feel like they will be ‘found out’ at any moment or that they are blagging in their role, despite the evidence showing that they have, in fact, repeatedly made decisions that have proven to be correct for their organisation. There is a disconnect between their inner story and what they have actually experienced. This can show up as someone telling themselves - and telling others - that they were hired for a new role because they were lucky or in the ‘right place at the right time’. But how would this inner story impact how they show up in the new role; how they present themselves to others; how they represent the organisation? How might it impact their future decision-making?
What would happen if, instead, that person had a more supportive inner story, one that was based on the evidence of their achievements and one that they could use to support themselves as they encounter opportunities and challenges in their new role?
New chapter
Skillfully managed, identifying and challenging unhelpful inner stories can be a transformative exploration; the starting point of a new chapter. In this new chapter, a fresh inner story can be crafted; a story that better reflects the reality of someone’s lived experience. When that happens, it’s time to play! It’s time to unleash that new narrative and to experiment with it to see how it can support you in your life and can, in fact, ripple out to influence the stories that you tell others and that they, in turn, tell about you.
Find out more about this process by applying to be part of our bespoke Insight, Agility or Activate Programmes.
Summary of key learning
Inner stories impact our actions, behaviours and decisions.
We can hold a spectrum of inner stories.
Our inner stories impact the stories we tell others.
We have the power to change our inner stories.
